Do I have to work with a client I don't get along with?

Sep 01, 2014 by Wilson Hull

Do I have to work with a client I don't get along with?

Is it necessary for you and your clients to like each other in a trusted adviser relationship?

A client of ours recently shared their frustration at having to work with a client they described as “@#!*#”. Their description un-printable here but think rude, arrogant, sense of superiority, aggressive.  Apparently not uncommon behavior in this business sector.

Consider this – imagine if other professionals (lawyers, architects, your dentist) only worked with people they liked?    Research shows that professionals typically get along really well (have natural chemistry) with only about a third of their clients.   Professionals need to have skills which enable them to build rapport, be effective communicators and provide advice to a wide range of people.

The conscious application of relationship and influencing skills when working with clients is not manipulative, insincere or unethical provided you have their best interests at heart.  That’s different from deciding to ‘fake it’.   What do you do if you have to work with a client you find difficult to get along with?  The worst approach is to ignore the problem or try to create distance (like using lots of task-orientated emails or leaving phone messages when you know they will not be in).

Larger firms can often get around the problem of incompatibility by assigning other staff to the client or using a multi-level relationship or team approach to maintaining key relationships – all good risk management practices.

If you have to continue to deal with a client you don’t have a natural rapport with, it pays to develop a strategy to get the relationship onto a sound footing.

Ask yourself:

• Are you sweating the small stuff or being overly judgmental?

• Are the needs of the client very challenging and are you transferring some tension about this onto personality issues?

• Does the client show any concern which suggests you need to take action?

• Get some feedback from a colleague – is there something you are doing which is feeding the negative, is there something you could be doing to shift the relationship onto a more positive footing?

• How well are you meeting the communication style needs of the client (expressive, direct, analytical, amiable)?  Are you misreading the relationship because of communication differences?

• Tension can leak out in the way you speak so take care – “yes, but … “,   “you didn’t  …”,  “you should …” type language will only inflame a situation.

• Think about what is triggering your threat reaction. It may be the client has mannerisms which remind you of other people you don’t like or which you have strong views on e.g. ”I hate people who talk over me”.

Lastly, a stitch in time saves nine - thinking about how to get a new client relationship onto the right foot from the get-go might save a lot of trouble later.